5 Reminders to Soothe New Relationship Anxiety

Credit: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/hard-to-trust-5-reminders-new-relationship-anxiety/
When It’s Hard to Trust: 5 Reminders to Soothe New Relationship Anxiety

By Madison Sonnier

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

“I’m happy. That’s all you need to know.”

Pause before you react.

This is a hard one for me, but before you assume anything or unduly react to any type of perceived conflict, pause and reflect on where your thoughts and feelings are coming from. Could insecurity, fear, or trauma be at play? Is the conflict real or imagined? 

Being preoccupied is not the same as ignoring you. Making a lighthearted and harmless comment is not the same as intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Showing frequent love and affection is not the same as using you for personal gain.

Separate your emotions from your ego, and consider the rationality of your behavior before you react or respond to anything.

Expectation is the root of all disappointment.

Keep your expectations in check. When a relationship goes south, we often tend to carry residual expectations and disappoints into the next one. If you experience disappointment over something your partner said or did, ask yourself what you expected them to say or do instead. Then consider whether or not that expectation is fair and justified.


For example, expecting your partner to listen to your concerns and honor your needs is fair.


Expecting them to read your mind, wait on you hand and foot, or make you the center of their world is not. Unfair expectations can poison a relationship if you don’t strive to recognize and release them.

Fix yourself before trying to fix your partner.

Be mindful of your tendency to project your flaws and insecurities onto your partner.


Projecting is a common mistake in many relationships because pointing the finger at the person closest to you is easier than turning it to yourself and being honest about whether or not your own internal dialogue is the actual source of the problem.


Before you decide to change something about your partner, consider what you might need to work on within yourself.

Trust is the glue that holds it all together.

I can’t even tell you how many times my partner has stressed the importance of trust after a misunderstanding or moment of doubt and insecurity on my end. Time and experience has taught me that trust is vital to the success of any relationship, but it’s something I clearly need to work on after years of being hurt and misled.


While trust may not be an easy thing for many couples, it helps to remember that if your partner is someone worth being with, they will never give you a reason not to trust them.

7 Inspirational Rules for Achieving Your Life Goals

Whether your definition of success is a happy marriage, a healthy bank account, or worldwide fame and adulation, we’re all motivated by ambition to some degree; the enduring question is “how do we achieve success?” The truth is, there’s no simple answer, but there are plenty of tips you can use to improve your chances of being successful in life. We’ve come up with a list of seven fantastic tips for achieving your life goals, as advocated by some of the world’s highest achievers.

1. Don’t let rejection stand in your way.

Harry Potter author JK Rowling is probably the most famous writer in the world, but if she hadn’t had the courage of her convictions early on in her career, things could have been very different. The Potter series has sold over 400 million copies worldwide since the first installment was released in 1997, but the global hit was rejected twelve times before a publisher agreed to take it. Even once it was released, it wasn’t plain sailing for Rowling — one of the first journalists ever to interview Rowling was given a first-edition copy, but thought nothing of throwing it in the trash; that copy would now fetch around £50,000 at auction! To quote Rowling herself, “Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged to.”

2. Invest in yourself.

As world-renowned businessman and philanthropist Warren Buffet once said, “the best investment you can make is in your own abilities.” By constantly working to improve yourself through the acquisition of relevant skills and information, you’ll be in a much better position to achieve what you want to achieve. Some of the world’s greatest sportsmen and women put their success down to their passion for self-improvement — and you only have to look at superstar footballer Cristiano Ronaldo for proof. Ronaldo may not be to everyone’s tastes, but he is one of the most dedicated athletes of all time, and regularly reaps the rewards of his efforts on the field.

3. Learn from your mistakes.

Along the path to success, there are bound to be a few bumps in the road — it’s important that you don’t let these setbacks slow you down. Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn, and by recognizing and accepting your errors, you can ensure they don’t happen again, smoothing that path towards achievement. No less an authority than Einstein put it succinctly: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”

4. Don’t be afraid of a little hard work.

If you want evidence in favor of this little bit of advice, look no further than Bill Gates, the creator of Windows and one of the world’s wealthiest business people. The Microsoft founder has always pushed the idea that success requires hard work, and once revealed that he didn’t take a single day off during his 20s, when he was getting the company off the ground. Quite simply, the more effort you put in, the more you’ll get out of it — as NFL icon Vince Lombardi famously stated, “The price of success is hard work.” It doesn’t get much simpler than that.

5. Dare to be exceptional.

Walt Disney knows a thing or two about living out fantasies, animating some of the world’s favorite fairy tales, so when he says “if you can dream it, you can do it,” it’s probably worth sitting up and taking note. Aiming low might reduce the possibility of making mistakes, but what great businessman or woman ever aimed low — if you’re passionate about a project and truly believe in it, there’s every reason to believe you can achieve your goals. You might even find that they’re closer than you think!

6. Be pro-active.

It’s probably no surprise that Richard Branson has a “get up and go” attitude — the man that created the Virgin conglomerate has delved into the worlds of business, music, media, and politics during his life, not to mention space travel, charity and the odd world record attempt. The billionaire entrepreneur has often cited this energetic take on life as key to his success, advising ambitious young people to “get out there and do things — don’t watch other people do things, and don’t watch television.” In the modern age, it’s all too easy to take a passive attitude towards life, but if you want to achieve big things, it’s best to have a hands-on approach.

7. Engage in your passions.

Ultimately, if you’re going to achieve great success in life, you’re going to need to care about what you’re doing — so if you’re an ambitious high-flyer who wants to go right to the very top, take a close look at the things that interest and excite you, and see if you can use that passion to achieve your goals. As the celebrated jazz singer and famed “First Lady of Song” Ella Fitzgerald once said, “Don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there’s love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”

Credit: http://www.lifehack.org/417129/7-inspirational-rules-for-achieving-your-life-goals

A List Of 30 Small Things For You To Do To Become Happier In Life

We all have desires, needs and wants. Most importantly all our pursuits amount to us being happy. Yet what is so central can be evasive to many. However chasing happiness should stem from the decisions and choices we make. Focus on the little things, as such is necessary, rather than the mighty actions you have to reach happiness. At the end of the day, happiness is never a destination but a journey and every step should be one where you embrace the excitement and joys life has to offer. Here is a list of 30 small things you can do to become happier in life.

1. Be thankful and show gratitude. It is not about what you don’t have but about the things you currently have. Find a way to express your gratitude.
2. Pursue the right career. Yes do something that combines work and fun in your life.
3. Stop trying to be perfect. No one is.
4. Learn to tolerate others. Just as you are not perfect, people around you also fall short of being perfect also.
5. Don’t compare yourself with others. Rather always try to be a better version of yourself.
6. Start each day with a smile.
7. Dream and always hope for the best. There are no gains or successes in worrying after all.
8. Forgive yourself and learn to forgive others.
9. Give social media a break and learn to experience some me-time.
10. Meditate.
11. Give to someone in need. It doesn’t have to be money, but it could be your time or energy.
12. You will always make mistakes, don’t ever take yourself too seriously.
13. Listen or participate in interesting and thought provoking discussions.
14. Be reasonable. Not everyone will accept your opinion or beliefs.
15. Don’t try to win every argument.
16. Set goals, they could be short term or long term. Just have something that you look forward to accomplishing.
17. Exercise and try to keep fit. Your body is your vehicle to success.
18. Celebrate your wins and embrace your losses in the same manner.
19. Stop using negative words like “I can’t.” “I won’t.” “It can’t.” Always be positive and know that the world is a place of amazing possibilities.
20. Write something. It could be a thank you note, or your plans for the future.
21. Stop spending time with toxic people.
22. Take risks. Learn to embrace your fears and face your challenges with bravado.
23. Learn to let go of the things beyond your control. Life will always be unfair and will not take present itself the way we want it to. So value what you have and stop trying to hold on to the things that you cannot do anything about.
24. Know your strengths and your flaws. At the end there is so much we can do or take. Know what applies to you and stop pushing yourself to places or borders that violates your values and desires.
25. Embrace change. You should be flexible and be adaptable. Things will never stay the same. Time has a way of healing, building and reforming what is. So understand that things will pass. Rather than be a victim of change, be a master of it.
26. Stop complaining and making excuses. Rather take on more responsibility and do more of what you can do to better a situation or the things that surround you.
27. Eat right and sleep as much as you can. While people will tell you that less sleep, more work helps you reach your goals, understand that a healthy body is more vital to your success.
28. Prioritize. You cannot chase everything at once. Rather pick those pursuits that matter to you and prioritize your goals.
29. Stop being busy. Rather focus on being productive and appreciating the moments you have.
30. Travel and gain new experiences. Who knows what awaits you on the other side.

Credit: http://www.lifehack.org/349565/list-30-small-things-for-you-become-happier-life

Never Give Up!

Are You Taking The False First Step?

Full article: http://www.breakthetwitch.com/false-first-step/
Credit: Anthony Ongaro
Awesome read! Spot on!

The False First Step

This is the false first step: believing we’ve made a meaningful step toward a goal when all we’ve actually done is spent money or not done the thing we actually need to do. We’ve actually lost something (money and time) rather than attained something (meaningful progress).

Ads tell us that buying something is a step towards achieving our dreams. They’re lying.

What You’re Actually Buying

I hadn’t been buying things – I had been trying to buy a better version of myself.

“People don’t buy products, they buy better versions of themselves.” —Samuel Hulick

Whether it’s a yoga video on a Kindle or a heart rate monitor on our wrists, we’re spending a lot of money on things that are supposed to help us be healthier and happier. But is any of it working? Let’s take a moment to consider it.

Is it realistic to imply that an Amazon Kindle is the first step to getting healthy and happy? Sure, you can look up recipes and yoga videos on a Kindle, but you can watch Netflix and browse Facebook, too.

Buying a Kindle Fire to get healthy and happy is like saying that the only thing keeping you from your goals is that you don’t have a portable electronic device with a seven-inch screen.

We take a false first step when we have an aspiration and then take an action that isn’t actually doing something. The false first step is an outsourcing of effort, a delay of progress, and likely, a loss of money.

We all know how to be healthy. Go outside, walk, stretch, or move in some way every day. Eat fruits and vegetables, and avoid high-sugar foods. We all know how to do this, and there is nothing on the Kindle Fire that will make us more likely to do these things. But we buy it, anyway.

What Was Your False First Step?

• Buying yoga pants instead of doing yoga
• Writing 10 blog posts before you publish your first one
• Buying a laptop instead of writing on whatever you have available
• Getting stuck on a project and starting a new one instead
• Researching new cameras when you don’t use the one you have

So, what happened exactly?

Buying that Kindle Fire convinced your brain that you actually managed to do something meaningful towards becoming that person you want to be. Enough so that, for a while, it satisfies your desire to progress and grow, and it makes you feel like you’ve actually accomplished something. Since you’re convinced that you’ve made progress, you move on, and the action never actually happens. Until that uncomfortable feeling comes up again, that is.

Since taking a false first step eased that discomfort last time, the cycle repeats. Perhaps this time, it will be yoga pants or a new pair of running shoes. Maybe it’s a Fitbit that will finally get us outside. Perhaps.

It took seeing that collective financial damage for me to realize the true nature of my buying habits.

Build a habit before spending money.

It should be obvious by now that we can’t buy better versions of ourselves. The only way to become better is to spend time working towards what we value most in life.

If your first instinct is to buy something in order to accomplish one of your goals, realize that this is likely a false first step. If you haven’t even tried to accomplish something using the resources you already have, slow down and assess the situation. That discomfort you feel is your opportunity to stop the cycle of consumption dead in its tracks.

Start first by establishing a small action to complete every day—something that, over the course of a few weeks, has the potential to become a strong habit. How amazing will those new running shoes be once you’ve been walking every day for a month? Once the habit is established, those shoes really can enhance your experience and help you continue your fitness journey. But they’re not going to do the work for you.

Learn what you don’t know by failing and failing again.

The best way to figure out what you actually need is to make a solid go of it and probably fail. You don’t yet know what you don’t know. By making a solid attempt at achieving your goal, you will ask better questions, be able to find better answers, and fail a little better next time. You can figure out exactly what you actually need to get to the next step once you know more about what you don’t know.

The fear of failure is something that plagues us all, but owning that fear and embracing failure as a step along the path is the best thing you can do. Instead of purchasing a new diet plan or perhaps a new camera and placing the blame for failure on those things, own up to your personal growth process.

Most importantly…

Don’t let buying something be the action you take towards accomplishing your goal.

I Believe ~

True Beauty.

Be Beautiful ~

I'm Possible!

Be Happy ~ :D

Always have plans!

爱与吵架

Visualize ~

The Four Agreements

Quotes On How To Care Less About What Others Think

1.       “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu

2.       “Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ― Tyra Banks

3.       “If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” ― John Lennon

4.       “I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne

5.       “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss

6.       “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. “― Suzy Kassem

7.       “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”—Steve Jobs

8.       “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”— Albert Einstein

9.       “Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own.”— Angelina Jolie

10.   “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”— Coco Chanel

11.   “Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.” ― Erma Bombeck

12.   “People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are quite aware of your potential, even if you are not.” ― Wayne Gerard Trotman

Quotes To Inspire You To Live For Meaning Instead Of Money

1. “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. . . Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful . . . that’s what matters to me.” – Steve Jobs

2. “Life is about making an impact, not making an income.” –  Kevin Kruse

3.  “Strive not be a success, but rather to be of value.” –  Albert Einstein

4. “No one has ever become poor from giving.” – Maya Angelou

5.  “Don’t trade away your happiness now to earn money in hopes that if you make enough you’ll be able to buy it back later. You can’t.” – Unknown

6.  “Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.” – Ancient Indian Proverb

7. “When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

8.  “If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.”  - Abigail Van Buren

9. “Today be thankful, and think how rich you are. Your family is priceless, your time is gold, and your health is wealth.” – Unknown

10. “Look everywhere you can to cut a little bit from your expenses. It will all add up to a meaningful sum.”  - Suze Orman

11. “Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy, so they know the value of things, not the price.” – Unknown

12. “The goal isn’t more money. The goal is living life on your terms.” – Chris Brogan

13. “Never spend your money before you have it.” – Thomas Jefferson

14. “Money is numbers, and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.” – Robert Nesta Marley

Who am I?

Finding my career path! :)

Find the root cause!

Action speaks!

I am AWESOME!

Go for it!

Pursue Your Dream!

Believe in myself

:+: Day7 - One Bite At a Time‏ :+:

Today is the last of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

ONE BITE AT A TIME

Question:
"How do you achieve BIG goals?"

Answer:
You break BIG goals into SMALL steps.
You list all the small steps -
and then tackle each step.

Does this seem obvious?
Most people don't do it!

Let's say that your office is a mess.
You have been postponing a clean-up for two years.
Seen as ONE BIG job, it is frightening.

So you make a list of small steps ...
Step 1: tidy your desk top
Step 2. empty out the top drawer
Step 3: create new files
Step 4: clean out the bookshelf ...

One step at a time, you can do it.

Research confirms that we are more likely to tackle tasks that we can complete within 15 MINUTES.

Whether you want to write a paper, build a business, or get fit, break your goal into bite-size pieces.

Starting today:

Commit your goals to paper.
Break your big goals into "bite-size" pieces.

You'll achieve more - and you'll be happier.

WHAT NOW?
Peeps, this is the end of the 7 Day Program.
Start applying for a better life. :)

:+: Day6 - Be Flexible!‏ :+:

Today is the sixth of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

BE FLEXIBLE!

Here's a recipe for permanent misery ...

Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.

Then, when life doesn't obey your rules, get angry!
That's what miserable people do!

Let's say you expect that:
* People SHOULD appreciate you.
* Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
* Your husband SHOULD remember your birthday.

Sounds reasonable ...
but often, these things won't happen!
So you end up frustrated.

Happy people make fewer DEMANDS on life.
Instead, they have PREFERENCES!

They say:
"I would prefer "A", but if "B" happens, it's OK too!"

I PREFER the neighbours to be quiet -
but if they make a noise, I can handle it.

I PREFER people to see my point of view - but when they disagree, it is OK.

You have preferences about the outcome of your plans, but you accept WHATEVER happens.

So your mission today?
Instead of making DEMANDS on life and people, have PREFERENCES.

There are two ways to become happier:
a) change the world, or
b) change your thinking.

It is easier to change your thinking!

:+: Day5 - Compliments‏ :+:

Today is the fifth of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

COMPLIMENTS

Some people notice the BEAUTIFUL view.
Some people notice only the DIRTY window!

Your happiness depends on what you DECIDE to notice.

So here's today's exercise:
Step 1: Look for ONE QUALITY in every person you meet.
Step 2: Give them a COMPLIMENT ...

"That is a stunning outfit!"
"You are an inspiring teacher."
"You have a beautiful smile!"

Remember, a compliment is NOT flattery!
Flattery is insincere.
A compliment is SINCERE RECOGNITION of someone's qualities.

Most people feel UNDER-APPRECIATED!
When you give them compliments, you light up their day.

And here's the bonus:

To pay compliments, you have to focus on the positive.
So it makes YOU happier!

:+: Day4 - Forgiving People‏ :+:

Today is the fourth of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

FORGIVING PEOPLE

Where do we get the idea that if WE don't forgive people, THEY suffer?
It's nuts!

Let's say:
a) You are my boss and you give me the sack, or
b) You are my girl and you run off with my best friend.

So I say, "I'll NEVER forgive you!"
Who suffers?

NOT YOU!
I get the knot in my stomach.
I lose the sleep.
You are probably out partying!

While I resent you, I SUFFER!
Meanwhile I tell myself, "I'm right!"
But being "RIGHT" doesn't guarantee happiness.

Here's the point ...
To forgive someone, you don't have to AGREE with what they did.
You just have to want your life to work.

You don't forgive people for THEIR benefit.
You do it for YOUR benefit.

So this is your mission for the next 24 hours:

Think of someone that has hurt you.
Just today, practise letting go of all resentment toward them.

Gather all your ANGRY thoughts -
those "I am right and they are wrong" thoughts, and let them go.

You may like to use your creative imagination .....
put all that resentment into an imaginary balloon, and let it float away.

Throughout the day, repeat the process.
You will feel better.

Forgiving people may be tough, but is possible.
You forgive people for YOUR benefit.
It makes YOU happier.

:+: Day3 - Kick the Worry Habit :+:

Today is the third of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

KICK THE WORRY HABIT

Most of us WORRY.
Some people will even tell you that you SHOULD worry!
But worrying is worse than USELESS!

Firstly, it attracts misfortune.
Secondly, it is bad for your health!

So what should you do about worry?
POSTPONE it!

TAKE ACTION first - and postpone worry indefinitely.
That's what effective people do.

Here is your mission for the next 24 hours:
Whenever you want to worry, ask yourself, "What is the problem RIGHT NOW?"

Guess what you'll find ...
Unless you are in a life threatening situation, you DON'T have a problem.

Look at your life.
Has there ever been a situation you didn't survive?
There hasn't!

You can HANDLE the present.
It is just the FUTURE that gives you trouble!
So your mission is to focus on the present.

Your mind will want to drift into the future.
Your mind will want to ask questions like: "What happens if ...?"

Drag it back to the PRESENT.

Tell yourself:
"If there is SOMETHING I can do now, I will do it."
"If there is NOTHING I can do right now, I refuse to worry."

Make this your motto:
"I take whatever action I can now - and I postpone worry!"
"I deal with problems MOMENT BY MOMENT."

:+: Day2 - Support Yourself !‏ :+:

Today is the second of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

SUPPORT YOURSELF!

Some people constantly CRITICISE themselves.

They say things like:
"I'm FAT."
"I'm BORING."
"Watch me SCREW THIS UP!"

There are two problems with criticizing yourself:

Firstly:
You BECOME what you think about.
So when you criticize your own performance, it gets worse!

Secondly:
Criticizing yourself IRRITATES other people.
Eventually, even your friends will want to smack you in the mouth!

Self criticism is not humility, it's stupidity.

So this is your job for the next 24 hours:
Notice what you say about yourself.

Starting today, say ONLY GOOD THINGS about you!
If you have nothing good to say, say nothing!

And the result?
1. You'll feel better.
2. You won't irritate other people.
3. Your performance will improve.

Just today, support yourself!
You may choose to make it a lifelong habit!

:+: Day1 - Look For Good Things! :+:

Today is the first of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises. (Credit: Andrew Matthews)

Let's get started ...

LOOK FOR GOOD THINGS!

Take a look at the HAPPIEST people you know and you will notice something.
They haven't had the EASIEST lives!
Happy people have usually suffered and struggled MORE than most.
But in the process, they have learned to look for GOOD THINGS in life.

And have you noticed this ...
When we look for good things in situations - or people - we FIND them.
When we look for bad things, we FIND them.

So it's not changing your situation that makes you happier.
It's changing your THINKING!

If you go looking for faults in your job or your mother or your wife, you will find plenty.

Some people spend their life looking for faults -
and then they tell you, "I'm just being REALISTIC!"
It is not realistic. It is NEGATIVE!

Happy people continually ask themselves, "What is good about this situation?"

EXAMPLE:
You are stuck in traffic. You ask yourself, "What's GOOD about it?"
* You have time to listen to your favorite music.
* You can plan your day.
* It's better than walking!

EXAMPLE:
You are short of money. You ask, "What's GOOD about having no cash?"
* You learn to appreciate things that money can't buy.
* You become more determined to succeed.
* You find out who your friends are!

You might say, "That's nuts! It's kidding myself." Not so!

Looking for good things is a key to happiness.

So your mission for the next 24 hours?

In every situation, look for GOOD THINGS.
It may be hard at first, but it becomes automatic.
As "looking for positives" becomes a habit, you will become happier and happier.

Unleash Awesomeness!

Finally after much procrastination, I had created this blog to record all the awesome stuffs in my life. Also, to consolidate all the awesome article which I felt value adding to my personal growth.

Till then. 

xoxo