5 Reminders to Soothe New Relationship Anxiety

Credit: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/hard-to-trust-5-reminders-new-relationship-anxiety/
When It’s Hard to Trust: 5 Reminders to Soothe New Relationship Anxiety

By Madison Sonnier

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

“I’m happy. That’s all you need to know.”

Pause before you react.

This is a hard one for me, but before you assume anything or unduly react to any type of perceived conflict, pause and reflect on where your thoughts and feelings are coming from. Could insecurity, fear, or trauma be at play? Is the conflict real or imagined? 

Being preoccupied is not the same as ignoring you. Making a lighthearted and harmless comment is not the same as intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Showing frequent love and affection is not the same as using you for personal gain.

Separate your emotions from your ego, and consider the rationality of your behavior before you react or respond to anything.

Expectation is the root of all disappointment.

Keep your expectations in check. When a relationship goes south, we often tend to carry residual expectations and disappoints into the next one. If you experience disappointment over something your partner said or did, ask yourself what you expected them to say or do instead. Then consider whether or not that expectation is fair and justified.


For example, expecting your partner to listen to your concerns and honor your needs is fair.


Expecting them to read your mind, wait on you hand and foot, or make you the center of their world is not. Unfair expectations can poison a relationship if you don’t strive to recognize and release them.

Fix yourself before trying to fix your partner.

Be mindful of your tendency to project your flaws and insecurities onto your partner.


Projecting is a common mistake in many relationships because pointing the finger at the person closest to you is easier than turning it to yourself and being honest about whether or not your own internal dialogue is the actual source of the problem.


Before you decide to change something about your partner, consider what you might need to work on within yourself.

Trust is the glue that holds it all together.

I can’t even tell you how many times my partner has stressed the importance of trust after a misunderstanding or moment of doubt and insecurity on my end. Time and experience has taught me that trust is vital to the success of any relationship, but it’s something I clearly need to work on after years of being hurt and misled.


While trust may not be an easy thing for many couples, it helps to remember that if your partner is someone worth being with, they will never give you a reason not to trust them.